Second baby, first hypnobub :)

This gorgeous hypnomumma sent me her birth story and it was such a beautiful one, I was so grateful that she sent it to share with you all. So enjoy this gorgeous read - N

I was certain I would birth earlier than 40 weeks similar to my first but after weeks of waiting and going insane, daily surges and false alarms I started to wonder whether this baby would ever come out! At 41 weeks and 2 days I had all but given up faith in my body to tell me what was happening. At 3am a massive electrical storm rolled over and woke up the whole house, including my 2 and a half year old girl who joined my husband and I in bed and proceeded to kick me in the spine and snore loudly. I could feel mild cramping and movement but nothing I hadn’t been experiencing regularly for weeks already. I was very restless so decided to swap to my daughters empty bunk bed to try and get to sleep. I climbed up and lay there feeling a very mild surge coming on. I remember thinking ‘just give me everything you’ve got’ to my body - fed up with pregnancy! And within about a minute a felt a kind of popping sensation and expected my waters to break (they didn’t) and that immediately familiar sensation that I had tucked away into my subconscious from my last labour. Similar to an uppercut! Yes!! I thought, it’s happening! I’ll give it one more before I get up and sure enough, another more intense surge followed soon after. Just like my previous labour, I knew this one would be fast and intense. Although I wouldn’t have anticipated how fast! I climbed out of bed and sat on the toilet, another surge was coming. I tried to breathe in deep through my nose but struggled to stay focussed. Fear filled me momentarily - how will I do this again? What if I can’t? But I soon resumed focus knowing that I could and there was no other way. My husband was up by this time and I called my mum between surges to come and stay with my daughter. Luckily she was tucked up in our bed fast asleep. Next I rang my student midwife and then midwife and told them I wanted to go to the birth centre ASAP. I filled the bath at home with warm water and let each surge roll over me, steadily breathing in and out through my nose. Sometimes cutting it short or vocalising, but always refocusing back on my breath. Completely zoned out. The water absolutely helped me to relax. Every time I felt my jaw tightened I consciously relaxed it. My mum and husband were trying to talk with me and I had to shush them during each surge. My husband soon remembered the drill and kept quiet and calm. although I could sense my mum’s urgency and remember her saying ‘they’re three minutes apart!’ I could feel her staring intently at me despite my eyes being shut. I remained calm but decided to get to the car ASAP. I knew the baby was close. It was about 4am by the time we got in the car to drive 10 mins to the hospital. In the car the surges became more intense and I could feel my toes curling over. I started to vocalise through some of them, sort of like a yodelling sound! Mad wild woman I thought! We arrived at the hospital but had beat the midwives who were still a few minutes away. I could feel the urge to push and thought the baby would come in the carpark! I stayed calm and breathed through each surge. Telling myself I could wait. Moments later the midwife arrived and we entered the birth centre. I remember telling her I was close. I wanted the gas so desperately by this point! Once in the room she quickly connected the gas pipe and started the bath. I wanted to get into the water immediately but couldn’t because the bath wasn’t full! After a few minutes I felt the urge to push. I could feel the baby crowning. I knew I couldn’t rush it like last time, fearful of suffering another tear. After a few more surges there was just enough water to get into the bath. I immediately relaxed into the warm water. I knew the baby was coming out. I could feel the head coming down and back up gently, controlled and slowly just like I knew it needed to be. I could hear my student say ‘amazing’ as she watched and I felt so close and so excited. Suddenly the midwife asked me first to stand up out of the water and place my foot up on the edge of the bath. I knew something was up but I wasn’t worried. There was no panic just firm direction. I thought maybe the cord was wrapped but I found out later my big baby’s shoulder was stuck. The midwife directed me to bear down and within minutes my baby was out and in my arms. A boy! I knew it! Only a boy would make me wait so long! 41 weeks and two days for a two hour labour! We moved to the bed for a cuddle. He had breathed in some water so we cut the cord and he got checked out to make sure his lungs were clear. After an hour of waiting for the placenta I wondered why the hell I was still waiting on my placenta with the cord cut, we decided to quicken things up with the oxytocin injection. The moment of relief when it came out! My back felt the best it has for 9 months! Unfortunately soon after we realised I had suffered another third degree tear, in the same spot as last time. The midwife assured me that I had done everything possible for a slow and controlled delivery, but that ultimately his stuck shoulder had probably caused it. Thankfully there was minimal blood loss (as opposed to last time) and I knew that a theatre repair would result in a better outcome. I was pretty upset but knowing what to expect helped a lot. Before theatre I was calm, knowing my baby was happy with my husband and some expressed milk. I had a little sleep before being wheeled in and put under GA. We were home 12 hours later with our beautiful happy baby boy. Despite the tear, the difference between this birth and my first was immeasurable. I was so much more confident and focussed this time around. There was pain and effort and poo and swearing. It was not the textbook hypnobirth. But I felt overwhelmingly capable, confident, safe and ready, and that was the difference.